Glastonbury Life

Most people know that the last five letters of “psychology” denote study or knowledge. But Mary Anne Costerella believes that far too few psychotherapists acknowledge that the first five letters of the word refer to the human soul.

Psychology is defined as the study of the psyche, which means “soul,” the long- time Glastonbury resident said. “Soul has been abandoned by scientific healers, causing the individual energy system, the human being, to lose power. Current treatment trends must take a proverbial page from history and begin to focus on reconnection to the authentic power source, the heart and soul,” she continued.

The importance of the connection of head and heart, of body and soul, is central to Ms. Costerella’s work as a psychotherapist. Teaching is also important.

“One of my passions is teaching,” she said. “My undergraduate degree is in secondary education, in English.” As a therapist, she said, she continues to teach but in a different way. “Life for me has been on big classroom, and I bring that to counseling,” she said. “My passion today is teaching myself and others about what life is, its meaning and why we are here.”

“Why we are here,” for Ms. Costerella, is to learn, and that is the spiritual piece of what she tries to share. The physical part is keeping our bodies well. “The body is the house for the mind, emotions and spirit,” she said, adding that facials, massage, manicures and yoga are among ways people can support healing for the exterior of their human houses.

Ms. Costerella said her own spiritual journey began about 10 years ago when she and her husband divorced. “I learned a lot about myself,” she said.

She lost both parents, her father to a heart attack and her mother two years later to breast cancer, when she was in high school. As an only child, she found herself completely alone after her mother’s death. “There was nobody to help me through this traumatic grief,” she said. “Life is about loss. We need to deal with our emotions; otherwise they become toxic.”

In her case, she said, those “toxic emotions” led her into two marriages that ultimately were unsuccessful attempts to deal with her own family issues and to surround herself with family.

Describing herself as a “wounded healer,” a term originated by the French theologian Henri Nouwen. Ms. Costerella said she returned to school for a master’s degree in counseling because she wanted to use her own experiences to help others.

Ultimately, she decided to specialize in addiction, including the treatment of dual diagnosis disorders, such as when an addiction to medication causes depression.

As she has been involved in working with addicts and others she has come to believe that people- patients as well as caregivers-are too focused on the quick fix and not willing enough to deal with the root of the problem.

“The system focuses on the problem, the illness, the symptom,” she said. “People are taught to bypass the emotional work, but they would be better off using tissues than pills.”

Ms. Costerella described addiction as a person’s best attempt to deal with unresolved losses. While most lay people think of chemicals when they hear the word “addiction,” she said process addictions such as gambling and shopping are equally dangerous.

And while drugs can be useful in certain circumstances, in most cases they act as a Band-Aid, covering the external wound rather than helping the interior wound heal.

“We’ve learned to avoid and to keep busy,” she said, adding that “the concept of being” is preferable to the “process of doing.”

Ms. Costerella said she also enjoys learning about the metaphysical sciences such as astrology, numerology and a discipline developed at Yale University known as personlogy.

“I believe we’re here for a purpose,” she said, relating a story in Plato’s “Republic” about a soldier who is given a choice of scenarios to be born into and then drinks from the River of Forgetfulness to forget what his purpose in life is.

“The soul knows, but the head doesn’t,” she said. “The further the disparity between our ‘soul purpose’ and what we’re actually doing, the more likely we are to experience dysfunction, depression and addiction.”

She herself has suffered from emotional problems, including co-dependency and relationship issues.

“I went into therapy and also 12-step work for co-dependency issues,” she said. “I started making connections about grief and loss. I learned that the dependency on men that was taught in the ‘50s and ‘60s wasn’t working.” She also found spirituality as her “wellspring for a sense of belief and hope in life. The depression was a form of spiritual bankruptcy.”

With a graduate degree in therapeutic counseling and a minor in pastoral counseling, Ms. Costerella has worked in drug and alcohol addiction programs in Manchester and at Nachaug Hospital in Storrs, at New Directions, a private out-patient facility in Enfield, and at the Mount Sinai campus of Saint Francis Care Behavioral Health, where she has run a program designed to prevent relapses into addiction.

She also has earned licensing and special certification for addiction work and works in collaboration with two psychiatrists.

She has gained the respect of other therapists with whom she has worked. “Mary Anne is great,” said Karen DeFrancesco, a clinical social worker at Saint Francis who also has a private practice in Hartford. “Mary Anne is a very creative and talented therapist. Her expertise in chemical dependency, combined with her extensive knowledge of more holistic, nontraditional forms of therapy, will be a great asset to the Glastonbury community.”

Dr. Julie Gurner, a therapist who has worked with Ms. Costerella at the New Outlook Program sponsored by Saint Francis Care Behavioral Health, praised her for her “unique approach to therapy.”

“Mary Anne is approachable with a conversational style of interaction that places people at ease,” she said, adding that Ms. Costerella is especially sensitive to the needs of her clients. “Mary Anne uses herself in her work, joining with clients to examine the meaning of their life’s mosaic,” she continued. “She challenges traditional notions of psychotherapy by integrating clinical expertise with existential and wholistic perspective.”

The mother of four children ranging in age from 14 to 27, Ms. Costerella recently opened her new private practice, “Interiors: Psychospiritual Health Therapies, LLC” in Olde Turnpike Corners on Hubbard Street and continues to do on-call work for the Saint Francis program.

There she offers a variety of services, including assessment, consultations, crisis intervention, referrals and PsychoSpiritual integration and provides therapy for individuals, couples, families and groups as well as relapse prevention therapy for people recovering from addictions.

Anyone who wants more information about Ms. Costerella’s practice may call her at 657-1131.